After missing the last EPW show of 2007, I was looking forward to this one, which would explain me getting there at 5pm to be first in line, even though the doors were not due to open until 6.30pm!
I have to say that I do love their set up in the Cosgrove Hall. With the entrance off the stage and the way they have fencing lining the stage and entrance way, it looks very professional and puts me in mind of the original ECW. I was also very happy to see and more so hear that sound was no longer an issue and I could hear everything that was being said on the microphones.
That was especially important as Benny English came out first and cut a promo like only he can. Actually Benny was on form all evening and it’s great to see him being used so much and so well. He pointed out Jayson Cooper, Robby Heart and Tom Chocolate in the front row, which brought a “Chocolate, Chocolate” chant from the fans and a slap to Benny from Cooper!
“Dick sucks Balls” could be loudly heard as Donovan and his partner in crime, Wreckin Ball Wilson, came to the ring. A huge pop greeted Aztec and the action was under way immediately with a springboard splash from the Golden one. Next were a hurricarana and then a head stand on the top turnbuckle, with a pause for added effect. Dick went to the floor to regroup and Aztec faked the suicide dive by bouncing back off the ropes in a very cool looking spot. Balls tried to help his partner by getting on the apron as a distraction but he ended up being knocked to the floor by Dick. The action is back in the ring and soon Dick takes control as he scoop slams Aztec and sends him to the floor, where Balls can get some shots in before the referee sees a thing. Dick then does a surfboard submission using the ropes for leverage and went for a side walk slam but the move was messed up. (This is where commentators could have saved the moment by covering the error with a simple explanation like “Aztec was able to fight out of the hold”) Dick hits two more scoop slams and then a third but he’s rolled up by Aztec for a two count. Dick’s pissed and he hits Aztec with a clothesline, puts his head into the turnbuckles and then chokes him with his boot. With the crowd’s support Aztec hits a drop toe hold and turns it into some kind of submission move that I’ve never seen before but looked very cool. He then moves from that to another submission; Eddie Guerrero’s Lasso from El Paso I believe? Aztec then got in some kicks before Dick came back with a back breaker and surfboard type move: on his back, legs up and opponent stretched over the legs. The crowd stayed on his case with “You’re a Dickhead” but that didn’t faze him as he reversed a hurricarana attempt into another back breaker. Another scoop slam and now he’s ready to go to the top rope but falls off, much to his embarrassment and the fans amusement! Not to be perturbed, he climbs again but this time gets scared on the top! Aztec gets to his feet and does the Angle climb up the ropes to catch Dick on top and then hits the hurricarana in a very cool spot that leaves both men down. Aztec takes one out of the Mysterio book with the face buster off the ropes, followed by a drop kick and nice enzurguri. Balls panics, seeing his partner in trouble and comes to the ring to stop a pin attempt but ends up splashing Dick instead! This allows Aztec to hit a springboard move onto Dick for the pin. Not sure what to call that last move as it put me in mind of a Lionsault but also a move that AJ Styles does? Either way, not a bad match. I’ve seen Dick work better and the Aztec gets better each time but I’m thinking would work better with someone like Cannon who can make the fast pace, high flying style.
Jag and Havok come to the ring to the best entrance music, ever. “Jag’s a faggot” and “Havok’s Chubby” are heard from the politically incorrect fans. Nice come back from Havok with “I’m not. I’m big boned!” I actually like the act that Jag & Havok are doing as the comedy heels, with both pulling it off very well. Mark Aiston’s “personal assistant” informs us that he won’t be in attendance tonight & I nearly wet myself with happiness!! The whole segment drags on just a little too much for me but it’s used to put over the new “weapon of mass destruction” Chris Knight…….
I know I pick on the little things but why would Havok, Jag, English, Aiston’s personal assistant & Chris Knight all leave the ring when Bones came down? Five heels against one face & they retreat from him? Just doesn’t make sense to me. Knight is obviously being brought in to offset The Maniac and he does look pretty impressive, even with the purple tights! He over powers Bones easily and pushes him around to start off things. Bones gets on an arm bar but Knight hits a back elbow and puts Bones into a head lock. He then comes off the ropes for a shoulder block but Bones then gets in a drop kick and does the Miz clothesline through the ropes. Knight had enough and hits a stiff clothesline and then does a hang man over the top rope. He has total control has he hits a twisting neck breaker, elbow drop and the puts in blows to the stomach and back. Bones is in another head lock as the crowd shows support with “Chris has herpes”. Knight reacts with a chop and punch then a nice delayed suplex. He then hits some Kane like punches that looked & sounded on the money. However he misses a corner splash attempt but Bones misses the opportunity failing to hit a corkscrew moonsault from the top. Knight executes an awesome t-bone suplex but only gets a two count. He knows he has this and hits a spine buster that gives him the win. The heels return to the ring and on Aiston’s instructions from a phone call, put the beat down on Bones. This brings out The Maniac who comes out to make the save and choke slams Dick. Is it just me or does Dick always seems to get the brunt of Maniac’s anger?! The heels retreat, including Knight and Greg Graham comes to the ring to check on his tag team partner. That is when the heels should leave the ring – when the monster Maniac comes out, not to Bones. Wasn’t a long match but it served the purpose of putting over Knight as a force to be reckoned with and Bones sold his offence well.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – I love J-Rock. I love the character. I love the way he works the crowd. I love his move set, though as fairly new to the business, he does make mistakes sometimes but then again, who doesn’t?! I’d heard good things about Cannon & anybody who has been trained by Lance Storm gets my respect. Things get under way with a………dance off! Great comedy spot as J-Rock dances more like he’s from “the estate” than “the hood” and gets frustrated by Cannon’s obvious dancing talent. He charges at Cannon but gets hip tossed and drop kicked for his efforts and the crowd gives it to him with “You got served”. Cannon comes out with an airplane hurricarana, ten punches on the corner turnbuckle and then a double drop kick from the top rope. The fans are impressed and start chanting “Carlo, Carlo”. He gets a kick into the head before JR manages to drop him over the top rope to the floor. This is where JR takes over as he puts the boots in, hits a chop, punch to the head and then a face wash. He then hits a stinging chop off the ropes and spinning neck breaker. A clothesline off the ropes only brings him a two count. He chokes Cannon on the 2nd rope with his leg and then comes the “J-Train”! For those WWF fans, it’s the Ho Train running clothesline / splash done by The Godfather. The fans are at it again with “J-Rock sucks cock” and I wonder if other parents are pleased that brought their kids to listen to that. JR then hits a nice delayed suplex but Cannon comes back with a sunset flip that brings a quick two. JR gets up and hits him with a clothesline then tries to score the pin with one foot on his chest. A surfboard submission later and Cannon fights back with a jaw breaker and then very nice enzuguri. Momentum is now on his side as he hits a clothesline, back elbow and then……..dances as his music starts playing!! (Very cool & funny moment) A running senton only brings a two count and JR is able to hit a wicked German release suplex. Cannon gets up and hits a superkick that Lance would have been proud of but that still only brings a two. JR gets in a DDT that is sold so well by Cannon and then a head butt from the top rope that again only results in a two count. He goes to the top again but misses the splash and Cannon seizes the opportunity to hit a move that brings him the pin. Not sure what the finisher was – he basically put his knee on the back of JR’s head & rammed it into the mat. Sorry but as a finisher that that just plain sucks and that match deserved a better ending. I would have liked to see more action from Cannon but he showed enough to keep the fans happy and he sold JR’s work well. Overall this got #2 as Match of the Night for me – there was never any doubt that the Main Event would steal the show.
What do and don’t I say about my feelings on this one? I’ve changed my mind so many times since Saturday night and was even not going to do a review at all because of this match. I spoke to various people about what I thought – some agreed, some didn’t – so please be mindful that these words are mine & mine alone. People will disagree with me & I value their opinion as I hope they value mine & I’m more than willing to hear from them & discuss it, as long as they are prepared to do so in a mature way. Firstly – attire. No, no, no! Red tights with black tassels! What were you thinking?! And please, oh God please, put the shirt back on!! Van Halen’s “Jump” was an interesting choice for entrance music & I sensed an 80’s vibe going on. Jimmy starts off with an arm bar into a lock but Balls is able to do the same. He then hits a clothesline and shoulder block before Jimmy comes back with three hip tosses and a spinning back elbow. Dick distracts Jimmy and that allows Balls to hit two brutal chops then a running clothesline to the corner. He then chokes Jimmy with his boots to the throat and then also using the 2nd rope. As Jimmy is hanging there, Dick slaps him to add insult to injury. Balls then hangs him whilst standing on the 2nd rope. He climbs to the top and splashes onto Jimmy, using his ample posterior as a weapon before raking the eyes. A snake eyes later, we get a slam and splash that only brings a two count. He goes old school with the camel clutch submission and then puts the boots in followed by a clothesline off the ropes. Another choke, this time using the bone of his chin but he misses a splash attempt. Jimmy gets in a kick but is then thrown to the floor where Dick attacks. Balls puts on a head lock and then goes for the gorilla press but Jimmy manages to reverse it into a DDT. That doesn’t last long as Balls puts on a bear hug, which Jimmy eventually is able to escape. He gets in two back elbows, a running back elbow and a running forearm shot before Dick comes to the apron & distracts him. Balls diverts the referees attention allowing Dick to hang Jimmy over the top rope and a sit out power bomb later, Balls is your winner. One sided? You bet it was. In wrestling terms it was a “squash” and Jimmy was made to look like a jobber. Why, I have no idea. I have my theories and I hope they are not true but they are best left in my own head. I just question why you bring someone in and in their first match, you destroy them. I have no issue with Balls winning, nor the way it was done as it makes perfect sense for heels to cheat and work together but why was Jimmy not allowed to get in any meaningful offence? Where were the best snap suplexes I’ve seen? Where were the fast feet and fast kicks? Where was anything? If you read these reviews then you probably know who Jimmy was before he joined EPW. I won’t judge anything based on one match but I was very disappointed in how it was booked. I was also very disappointed and confused by a large section of the crowd who jeered and booed Dick in his match yet chose to cheer Balls in this one. Conspiracy theories aside that makes no sense at all. They can support who they like, just as I do, I just hope they give Jimmy the same consideration & support they give others in EPW.
Greg comes to the ring for his usual large pop and then we get two masked men, looking strangely familiar. A bit of yellow and I would have said B Brian Blair and & Jim Brunzell had broken out to the retirement homes! Of course it was Jag & Havok in masks as they are no longer contracted to wrestle in EPW. Cheesy? Yes. Does it work? I’m not sold yet. Just reeks too much of 80’s wrestling with Vince Russo booking to me. This is 2008, not 1988. Everyone there knew who it was yet no “official” actually questions it? This is one of those times where the line between plausibility and stupid booking gets drawn & I’ll wait to see what side it crosses on. I’ll call them for who they are not what they were portraying – easier to type “Jag, Havok” than “Masked Uknown #1 or Masked Unknown #2!” Havok starts us off by overpowering the noticeably smaller Graham and hits him with a splash, suplex and headlock. With the referee distracted by English, Jag and Havok swap places. Jag gets in a shoulder block and slam then puts in blows to the back before finishing with a clothesline. Next is a double axe handle and the clued in fans start chanting “Jag’s on steroids”. He gets in another shoulder block before Graham attempts to fight back with a hip toss and spinning kick. Jag rakes the eyes but then Graham gets in a side suplex before Havok trips him over from the floor. Graham is thrown to the floor and Havok swaps back into the match. With the crowd behind him, Graham manages to do running drop kicks on them both and a springboard plancha to the floor. The action is now back in the ring as Havok puts on a reverse slam followed by a scoop slam out of the corner. Graham is put on the top rope and with no regard for the rules, he is slammed and suplexed in the one double team move. Heart & Cooper have seen enough and they come to the ring to make the save and clear out the new owners of EPW. Graham is awarded the win via disqualification. Cooper then gets on the microphone & challenges the two masked strangers to a tag match on 5 April, with Graham as his partner. Heart follows out an open challenge of his own but I didn’t quite catch who it was directed at – I believe it was Dick & Balls. Do you think they’ll boo Heart if he wrestles Balls? (Don’t be a bitch, Scott!!) The match was a cheesy throwback but its main purpose was to set up the tag match for the next show.
Oh Mikey, how I love thee, let me count the ways!! From the very first time I saw Mikey wrestle, back when he had a lot more hair & a lot less muscle, I knew he was something special & none of his matches have ever disappointed me. This was easily Match of the Night and would hold that honour on most shows you put it on. These are two of the best young talents in Australian Wrestling & it’s not surprise that both have travelled overseas to show their skills. We’re just blessed that we are yet to lose them completely to an overseas market. Damian over powered Mikey early and he complained about the hair and tights being pulled in standard heel whiny tones. Then out of nowhere Mikey hits Damian with a wicked chop! Damian comes back with two of his own & then a back body drop that sends Mikey to the floor, where he delays returning to the ring by stretching! He finally gets back in and is put in a head lock, into an arm bar but then reverses out. He then challenges Damian to a test of strength but Damian reverses out of the lock up into an arm bar. Damian then hits a sunset flip off the 2nd rope into a pinning position but Mikey reverses out only for Damian to hit another sunset flip and roll up for a two count. A hip toss by Damian is followed by the same by Mikey but he then misses an elbow drop and Damian hits another hip toss into an arm bar. “Technical Wrestling 101” anybody? I could watch this all night!! Damian frustrated Mikey even more with three consecutive hip tosses, the third into an arm bar & Mikey rakes the eyes. He then comes off the ropes with a kick to Damian’s leg and goes to work on the injured area. Next is a snap mere & he wrenches the neck. In desperation Damian comes off the ropes with a running splash that sends them both to the floor. He puts Mikey’s head to the apron, chops him, slings him into the barrier & then uses it to rake his eyes. Mikey comes back with chops of his own and our entire section is asking what happened to the ten count from the referee! Um, when did this become a no count out match? Mikey then hits a snap suplex on the floor and they both brawl into the crowd. OK, when did this become no disqualification? (Again, perfect time for commentators to explain why this match is not being called as a non-contest). They both brawl around one side of the hall, with every piece of furniture and wall space being used as a weapon. They eventually return to ring side and Damian comes from the ring to the floor with a spring board corkscrew splash. He then hits Mikey with a kick and back elbow but can only get a two count. He follows up with some stiff kicks to the back and then hits an “I don’t know what!!” I thought it was a F5 but someone pointed out he went the wrong way for that so if anyone out there knows what it was, please drop me a line! Mikey goes back to work on the legs, this time using the ring post. He then chops Damian but is caught attempting another kick and Damian hands the leg to the referee so he can then hit him! That doesn’t last long as Mikey goes back to work on the leg and hits two wicked scoop slams, throwing Damian into the ropes on each. Damian is then in an arm bar but he manages to reverse out into a pin attempt – very nice move. Mikey works on the injured leg with a submission leg lock but Damian fights back with three hard chops and a kick to the back of the head. A top rope splash then brings him another two count. Next is a clothesline / slam move that I’ve seen else where but can’t remember the name for. A double reverse and Mikey is somersaulted into the corner. Damian gets in another kick but still can only get a two count, so he tries again but the magic three won’t appear. Out of nowhere Mikey hits a super kick but he also gets a two and goes with a top rope super plex that puts them both down. As they reach their feet both men trade forearm shots and Damian gets in a chop. He goes to the top but is knocked off and Mikey hits a powerbomb. Next is the prettiest thing in Australian wrestling…….a Mikey shooting star press. A vision to behold! Damian kicks out at two!! (Sorry but I don’t agree with that decision) Damian gets up and hits a back elbow but then Mikey hits a leg drag off the top and puts in the Texas cloverleaf. Daimian tries to hold on but all the work on the leg from earlier in the match has taken its toll and he taps out. “Wrestling Story Telling 101”. There is a show of respect as both men embrace – a touch that the crowd agreed with. Right there and then, let’s go home, night is over, we’re all high from watching an awesome match. Yes? No. Damian gets on the microphone and apologises for not winning, stating that maybe he’s passed his prime and he should let the younger ones have their day. What? As an angle that makes no sense at all! Past his prime? The younger ones? Damian is what, 20, 21, somewhere around there? That works for veterans, not the likes of Slater. That just left a bad taste in my mouth.
So another EPW show. More matches with great wrestling. More storyline development that involves Jag, Havok and Cooper. More matches that are technically great but meaninglesss. The Main Event was for the NWA Title – enough said. Jag & Havok v Graham – makes sense. Every other match – why did they fight? Will it matter next month? Apart from the “main guys”, does anyone in EPW have a storyline? Is there any character development? What happened to news about the Tournament to crown the first EPW Champion? There’s so much to love about EPW but there’s also so much that frustrates me as they portray such a professional image yet seem to forget the little things that in my opinion, will only make them and their shows better.
Thanks for reading…..if you did!
Scott